Who Are You When Nobody’s Watching?
A great question that makes you think: Who are you when nobody is watching? It’s asking you, who you really are when there is no social pressure applied and you’re completely relaxed. I don’t know about you but I’m trying to be as myself as possible, occasionally even challenging the social norms (yet mostly following the expected behavior in public).
I used to be a quiet, timid girl who followed the rules and didn’t know how to stand up for herself. Tamed by authorities I was an obedient resident every human being should look up to if you asked the lawmakers. Then something happened. I realized people are using me and that I am very naive. Slowly I built up my self-confidence and learned how to say no. I started fighting for my rights and sweeping away with oppression. For the first time in my life, I had the courage to tell somebody what he deserves and for the first time, I had the courage to be different. I started expressing my personality through vivid colors of my clothing (which looked hilarious, but it was a start), I opened up to social connections, I became very talkative and I started to laugh along with those who were making fun of me. I was finally able to be a little bit more myself in public.
When nobody was watching, I was a different person. I danced and sang as crazy in my room, I was constantly reading books, I wrote a lot of poems which were basic but I expressed all of my daydreams in them. I was jumping around on a ball (a ball you sit on and jump around), I was experimenting with practically everything I found. I was stealing candies from my candy drawer and once one of my experiments had gone wrong and all kitchen was covered in chocolate.
It’s not very difficult to be yourself with people you’re really close to because you are relaxed with them and you know they like you as you are. Don’t ask what I was doing with my best friend… Weird things. But when it comes to being you while meeting new people, that’s a lot harder. Mostly because we don’t trust ourselves and because we think, we’re not good enough as we are and we’re afraid of rejection. Comfort zone challenges are very effective here. I think they were that cherry on the top that made me feel good about myself.
Once you love yourself, truly love yourself, you start being you, acting like you and living as you would if nobody watched. It’s actually easier to make friends when you are acting like yourself. Others feel your authenticity and that makes you more real, more trustworthy. Even though I thought people would perceive me as weird, things seem to be different.
There’s nothing to be afraid of. You’re actually only afraid of yourself. It’s always better being around real people. Accept yourself, embrace it, and show the when-nobody-is-watching-me-you to the world. It’s worth it. ✌